


Papillon Really Isn't a Fan of Butterflies

by tytoak



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, My First AO3 Post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 18:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15868836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tytoak/pseuds/tytoak
Summary: Papillon decides that he wants to change his image





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey uhh, is this uh, Master Fu?” Master Fu was chillin as usual, a normal Friday afternoon, when suddenly he had received a phone call. Of course, Master Fu owns no phone. It would be more accurate to say that Master Fu received a package containing a phone, which was mailed to his house. He then received a call. On the phone. Which was mailed to his house. A normal occurance for Master Fu, who had grown tired of constantly being mailed phones.  
Master Fu sighed and picked up the box on his front door, prepared to take it to his designated phone closet for the numerous phones that had been mailed to him. Most were from this year’s Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous holders. Marinate and Canadian. They’re always telling him that he needs to play this mobile game they had both discovered on their own. Clash of Clans, which can be downloaded for free on both Android and IOS, a fun and addicting game you all should try out. Last year’s miraculous holders were much less persistent. Perhaps why they died so grueso-  
Suddenly the phone in the box rang. This was new. Master Fu has always tried his best to make sure no one knew he existed. His clients were always warned that they needed to keep his business on the DL. He decided this must be miraculous business. He needed to transform into Toitle.  
“Wayzz, In the daytime, I’m Master Fu. Just an ordinary old man with an ordinary life. But there’s something about me that nobody knows yet. Because I have a secret.”  
Reciting this phrase caused Wayzz to be sucked into the miraculous around his wrist, and caused him to mega evolve into Toitle, the spectacular shelled superhero. Master Fu NEVER answered phones without digivolving, at least when it came to miraculous business.  
“Hey uhh, is this uh, Master Fu?” Master Fu heard when he picked up the call.  
“Lol who r u :3c,” Master Fu said. Master Fu already knew who this was. Master Fu already knew where he was. Master Fu has toitle magic.  
“Uhh this is Papillon but also kind of not haha! Oh uh I have notecards one second lol.” Master Fu waited for Papillon to find his notecards. Of course, whatever he has to say must be very important. Gabriel Agreste, his idol, has called HIM. Any Agreste superfan would be on the edge of their seat.  
“Okay I’m back are you still there? Okay hi uh I’m just going to say it. Ohmygosh this is so embarrassing but like, Nooroo kind of sucks? And his superpowers are lame-o? So-could-I-please-maybe-have-a-new-miraculous-thanks.” Master Fu’s eyes lit up. This was the perfect chance to cause a fuckton of drama.  
“Lol okay but you have to promise not 2 be bad lol,” Master Fu said, knowing that Papillon was a bad bitch and no being on earth could stop him.  
“no,” said Papillon, hanging up the phone. Another success for Master Fu.


	2. The second one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The deal is made

Adrien Agreste was not chillin as usual on a Friday afternoon. In fact, Adrien was doing the opposite of chilling. (which is a normal Friday afternoon) He had been playing piano nonstop for the past 3 weeks. Or at least that’s what his father thought.  
“Heh, once Father comes to check on me and sees I’m not there I’ll jump out and scare him, heh this’ll be so funny,” Adrien said to Plagg.  
“Stop it Adrien we both know he isn’t coming, leave me to my cheese and die.” Now, it sounded like Plagg was being an ol’ meanie, but really Plagg was eating dice. As Adrien sat down in preparation for another day of waiting to prank his father, Master Fu stealthily climbed out of a tree behind him.   
“Hey uhh Canadian can you give this fox miraculous to Gabriel Agreste? There’s gonna be an Akuma in a bit so like uhhhhhhh you need help you disaster,” Master Fu said. Adrien of course, jumped a foot in the air as a Wilhelm scream played. His eyes were comically large. A laugh track soon followed. It was funny. Laugh.   
“Well okay Master Fu but I don’t know where he is,” Adrien said.  
“In your mom’s bedroom LMAOOOOO,” Master Fu told him. Plagg high fived him.  
“You’re right, he probably is in my mom’s room because he sleeps there. Thanks Master Fu, you’re a really helpful mentor and I appreciate both you and your company. I hope our friendship grows only stronger.” But Master Fu had already left, using his toitle magic.  
“Plagg, claws out,” Adrien sobbed. Another father figure gone.  
Chat Noir stared at the hundreds of windows on his house. Honestly, he had no clue where his father’s room was. Like, which parent disappeared, amirite? Chat Noir held out his hand to high five Plagg, but then remembered he was transformed. He leapt through a random window.   
Papillon stood in the center of his butterfly room with the one window that exists only for dramatic lighting. He laughed maniacally/ chortled evilly/ giggled like a prepubescent girl.   
“Damn, wrong room,” Chat Noir said as he jumped back out the window. “This leaves me no choice. Chat Noir walked to the front gate of his house. He pressed a button on the gate to speak to Nathalie, who would pass his message on to his father. Chat Noir cleared his throat.  
“ADRIEN AGRESTE IS A DECENT PERSON,” he screamed. Immediately, Gabriel Agreste burst out the front door.  
“WHO THE- Oh you must be here to give me a new miraculous. Thanks man,” Gabe said.  
“Yea no prob lol,” Chat replied as he yote the box containing the fox miraculous over the gate. Chat then sprinted away because his miraculous started beeping which meant Plagg thought it was convenient for the plot. Plagg activated his teleportation powers and Adrien was magically in his room in front of his TV. He was suddenly compelled to turn it on and change the channel to news.  
As he watched attentively, to learn exactly what the weather is in Germany, rainy, the image abruptly changed.  
“Don’t worry, this time it’s actually part of the plot and not lazy writing,” Plagg said. On the TV, Papillon was wearing a silly hat. It was a straw hat, with one of those fake flowers that shoot water out of them. Those flowers are typically pins worn on the chest. How silly. Dastardly silly, even. Adrien was scared and confused, as most teenage boys are. After all, this is a confusing time. The author is changing the subject to HILARIOUSLY break the fourth wall in order to tell the 4 readers that they should play the online mobile game Clash of Clans, available for free with both Android and IOS. Finally something Apple and Android users don’t have to fight about.   
Anyway, Papillon was wearing a silly hat, a dastardly silly hat, and was holding notecards. He appeared to be reading them.   
“Yada yada yada, it won't be long before Ladybug and Cat Noir show up to meet their doom, yeah, okay, uh-uh. Okay! So uhh some of you guys out there may know me as Papillon. But uh, I’ve decided that Papillon just isn’t who I am anymore. Butterflies are a thing of the past, so last season, and what’s in right now, is uh, foxes. So I have decided- ohmygosh I already said that part, augh, I hate speaking in front of audiences lmao. Well not really in front of an audience, I’m speaking into a mic, but haha you get the idea. So yeah! Trixx, let’s pounce!”   
Adrien gasped as Papillon changed before his eyes. His once purple suit shifted to a brownish orange. His round, silver head became normal. Adrien realized his mask probably just covered his head, and he wasn’t a silver-skinned, bald man.  
“So uhh, yeah my new supervillain name is Foxy Dad. I’m at the Popeye’s on 44th street, waiting to be beaten up and arrested. It won't be long before Ladybug and Cat Noir show up to meet their doom!”   
Adrien suddenly realized something. If he gave the fox miraculous, and Papillon/Foxy Dad have the fox miraculous, then…   
Marinette must just be a friend!


	3. The squeakquel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette time

Marinette was having a strange Saturday. The author had started THREE whole chapters with the same beginning. And just to top it off, she’d been hallucinating vividly all day. She’s walking to the library? Adrien Agreste flies down from the heavens on his golden pedestal that she placed him on, and throws a single flip-flop at her. Hanging out with friends at the park? All of her friends go still and start chanting in latin. The sun is blocked out in an unscheduled solar eclipse. All the other people at the park run away screaming. Why can she understand latin? She never could before. This really is a strange Saturday.  
She decided to sprint away from her friends under the darkness of the solar eclipse. She escaped unnoticed. They just kept chanting. When she returned home, she crept up to her room to avoid her parents, who had been stuck in the same pose for hours, glitching through the floor. She feared if she stayed in the same room as them for long, it would affect her too. She turned on the TV in her room.  
“Foxy Dad, once known as Papillon, or Hawk Moth if you live in the US, is terrorizing Paris as we speak. Chatbug and Ladynoir are nowhere to be seen, please, if you two are out there, Paris needs you, please hel-" The TV cut out. Because Tikki the green M&M turned it off.  
“Marinette, you filthy girl, you wretched demon, you have kept your phone on silent for the last time. Marinette, it is time to answer for your sins,” Tikki said.  
“But Tikki,” Marinette cried. “My phone isn’t on silent! I would have gotten a notification on the ladyblog if Hawk Dad were doing anything naughty!”  
Alya Cesaire sobbed in the fetal position on her bed.  
“Ladybug,, chose s, someone else to help herrrrrrrrrrrrrr,” she wailed. Alya stood up to slap her wall pathetically while dancing a jig.  
“now listen to me young man, i am talking directly into your ear now. i need you to do me a favor. you will do this for me. i need you to go to gamestop, and i need you to ask the bastard working the counter if they have bambi on the ps2. if you come back empty handed youll be in big trouble mister. you will never see the light of day,” Tikki said, appearing directly behind Alya. Alya cried and cried.  
“Where the Fuck did Tikki go,” said Marinette. She had disappeared to go pester the female one with glasses, aka main character number 3. Marinette had decided that the whole thing was just another hallucination, when suddenly, our favorite old man climbed through her window.  
“Marinate! Marinate! You filthy girl! You must get a third superhero to help you so like take a miraculous, i brought the box. It’s christmas all up in this bitch and Foxy Dad’s been naughty,” the old man said.  
“Old man McGee please never say such things again,” Marinette answered. She then leapt out her window in the typical superhero way. She hit the ground spectacularly, breaking at least a few bones, before muttering the magic words:  
“For a great low rate you can get online, go to The General and save some time!” These words activated her transformation, and sucked Tikki the green M&M from where she floated, beating the shit out of Alya Cesaire, over to Marinette’s location. Marinette was no more. Only Ladybug. Always Ladybug.


	4. The End.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll miss you

“Y’know I have no clue what we’re supposed to do now,” Adrien said.  
“I see what you mean. Now get away from me, leave me to my cheese, and jump off a bridge,” Garfield, Adrien’s kwami, said. It may seem like Garfield is being an ol’ hairball, but really, Garfield has an alcoholic beverage called ‘Jump off a bridge’.  
“Garfield, Ladybug’s magical saliva is literally only useful when fighting akumas. And like, akumas can only be created by Nooroo and his wielder? It’s almost like… Ladybug is only here to fight Hawk Mo-" Adrien was cut off by old man #1 climbing through his 3rd window of the day. The first window incident, not involving Marinette, is a whole other matter. Don’t worry about it.  
“CANADIAN I SWEAR TO GOD,” Old Man McGucket said, using his toitle magic to slap Adrien across the face. “Don’t worry about it.”  
“Welllllllllll alrighty then,” Adrien said, referencing Clash of Clans, the popular mobile game available on both IOS and Android for free, may I remind you.  
All of a sudden, Marinette and Nino bursted through Adrien’s door.   
“Listen here old man. You fool. You absolute oaf,” Marinette begin. “How dare you waddle around, flaunting your small turtle. He is not yours. He is not ours. Tiny turtle belongs to the world. And Nino, he is the world. To me. To Adrien. To Alya, wherever the fuck she is, and of course, to Nino himself. So basically hand over the turtle old man.”  
“A new old man is in town,” said Nino. His first, last, and only line is what this entire fic was based on. That was a lie. This was based on nothing. This is it. This is the end. Are you happy? You read fanfiction. It wasn’t good fanfiction. It wasn’t funny. But it was fun. This was fun. It was nice to talk to you. This was fun. I had fun. But it’s over. I’m sorry. I’m out of ideas. I’m washed up. Goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright this was lit. thanks for the kudos i appreciate it i plan to write something not bullshit in the future, stay tuned.


End file.
